My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
