Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
