Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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