ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
