the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
