i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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