the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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