I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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