Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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