If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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