omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We left an ass print on the piano.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
