You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I looked at my own cervix.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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