I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
