I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
