He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
