you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
