I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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