Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
