he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
