the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
