So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
