Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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