allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
