hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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