have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
