Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
