I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just pee around me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
