How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
