We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
