is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
