KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
