If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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