Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Randomize
