He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
