i think my tv is drunk
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
