This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
