whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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