In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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