my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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