I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
