It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
