i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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