So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
