then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
