their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
