Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
