at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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