Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
another moral hangover. fuck.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
