I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just want nice things and good sex
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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