his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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